Wedding and Funerals (Part One)

Within the last couple of months, I’ve attended two weddings and two funerals. I’ve come away convinced that we bring every wedding and funeral we’ve ever attended along with us to these events. It can get pretty emotionally crowded.

The two weddings were actually for one couple. The bride is Christian and her family is from Ireland, and the groom is Hindu and his family is from India. What an incredible blending of cultures and traditions. The Hindu ceremony was first and entirely in Sanskrit so my understanding was limited to the visual symbolism which was incredibly rich and colorful.

The Christian wedding was much more familiar. I was struck not only by the differences in the ceremonies and celebrations, but more surprisingly by the similarities. Both began with family members escorting the bride, the groom (or both) to a sacred place in front of the assembled guests. There, the couple publicly declared their devotion to each other, and the guests were drawn into the ceremony to support and bless the couple in their new life.

Sometimes during wedding ceremonies, I notice married couples of a certain age connect eyes as if to say, “They have no idea…” and ruefully smile at what the future may hold for the couple. I was a bridesmaid in the early 70s at a wedding where the Carpenters’ song, “We’ve only just begun” was sung. (click here for lyrics).

Such hope — such optimism. This particular couple parted ways after a series of job losses, miscarriages and life threatening illnesses exhausted their stamina to sustain a marriage. Every couple faces troubles though. Even so, during the exchanging of vows, I’ll see long-married couples briefly squeeze each others’ hands or lean into each other, glad they’ve had a partner through the years and grateful they’re still together despite…

Lately, when I go to weddings, I’ll start envisioning ceremonies that haven’t even happened yet — those of my daughters. I’m in no hurry to marry them off, but I do hope they’ll have life partners and that years from now, they’ll look at their partners, squeeze their hands and be grateful they’re still together despite…